Friday, October 28, 2011
WHEN I STARTED OUT @ AGE 18
Well, here I go, at age 18, I married and took 3 step children from his previous marriage, ages 5, 6 and 12. Yes 12 only 6 yrs between him and I, I took them as mine, raised them, no regrets, but it wasn't easy. During this time, I myself had 2 son's, now think about this, I had 3 in school, and 2 home, and then boom, I had 5 in school, shewwww what a mess lol, but I managed , how? I do not know. Ok, during all these years, I had a very hard time accepting the fact that I was being cheated on, lied to, and basically being used. Like I said, I was in denial, I thought it was my "obligation" to stay in this loveless marriage and raise my 2 son's and his 3 as well, so they had a stable family/home. Some days I felt as though I just could not carry on. I wanted to just disappear, but NO I had these kid's to take care of, I put myself and MY life on hold completely and I did what I thought was right and moral of me. I was numb to reality, real life, what was fun???? I had NO friends, I went nowhere, I didn't even function with my family. Soon I realized, I had gave my entire life to this marriage, I couldn't get back a day. Now don't get me wrong, I would do it all again, NO REGRETS, these were my children, and my life. I am just here telling you how easy it is to lose YOU. I will write more later, have a great day, and if you have lost YOU, take a little time today and pamper yourself, do something YOU want to do. YOU DESERVE IT!!!!